Between two and ten percent of seniors experience some type of elder abuse, and LGBT seniors have additional vulnerabilities that open them up to further opportunities for abuse. As discussed by the National Resource Center on LGBT Aging (led by SAGE), many people believe that elder abuse only pertains to bruises, broken bones, or other physical injuries; however, experts define elder abuse as physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional or psychological abuse, neglect, abandonment, and financial exploitation.
For the most part, LGBT seniors face the same types of abuse as non-LGBT elders. However, LGBT elders can be victimized in additional ways, and more reasons exist why people are so accepting of this type of victimization. The National Resource Center on LGBT Aging notes that these additional factors for LGBT seniors include:
Abuser threatens to “out” the senior
Despite the recent legal advancements for LGBT individuals, people still discriminate and are prejudiced against LGBT society. Many seniors in the LGBT community still feel safer keeping their sexual orientation a secret. Abusers who discover this fact threaten to “out” these seniors unless they submit to abuse. Many LGBT elders feel that it is easier to take the abuse than be outed, especially if they are LGBT grandparents whose children and grandchildren are unaware of their sexual orientation.
Abuser tells senior that authorities will not believe him
Abusers often tell their LGBT victims that the authorities will not believe them if they try to report the abuse. If the victim is known as LGBT or has to come out in order to fully report the abuse, they may keep silent for fear of facing police prejudice or violence.
Abuser gains control of finances/assets
Most LGBT partnerships are not protected by marriage or community property laws. As a result, it is much easier for abusers to take advantage of LGBT seniors’ finances or assets. This means that victims would be homeless or penniless if they leave their abusers. The same can happen if their report leads to the abuser being jailed or otherwise removed.
Victim fears “spending the rest of my life alone”
Older LGBT seniors have been told for decades that they will “end up alone” and ageism within this community seems to confirm this assumption. The threat of spending the rest of their lives alone or without meaningful human contact is another way that abusers keep their LGBT victims close. It also makes LGBT seniors particularly susceptible to “sweetheart scammers” that get form relationships with people in this community specifically to gain access to their financial resources.
Victim is easier to isolate
It is incredibly common for abusers to isolate their victims so that they become completely dependent on their abusers and so no one else will notice the abuse. Isolating an LGBT senior can be easier than isolating a non-LGBT senior because many are already estranged from their family. In addition, many LGBT elders do not feel comfortable in settings that cater mostly to non-LGBT people. Besides avoiding senior centers and meal sites, some LGBT seniors go as far as avoiding healthcare professionals for fear of discrimination or prejudice.
In addition to an abuser threatening to out an individual, telling a senior that the authorities will not believe them, gaining control of finances, fear of spending the rest of their lives alone, and being easier to isolate the following are reasons why LGBT seniors are at more risk for elder abuse.
Abuser says that “this is what it means to be LGBT”
Because there are so few examples of healthy LGBT lives for seniors, it is still possible for LGBT seniors with limited experience within their own community to believe abusers who claim whatever is going on is “what LGBT people do.” This applies particularly in sexual elder abuse situations.
Society believes that this is best that LGBT senior should expect
Internalized homophobia, biphobia, or transphobia occurs in elderly LGBT people when they believe the social message that an LGBT lifestyle is not normal, lesser, sinful, or worse than a non-LGBT lifestyle. When an elderly LGBT person believes this they are much more likely to put up with being abused, neglected, or exploited. In addition, elderly LGBT people who have been abused in the past are far more likely to believe that this type of behavior is normal.
Victim has history of self-reliance and fears authority
Many LGBT seniors have faced rejection from family members and disrespect from social institutions. It leads many in the LGBT community to form a strong belief in self-reliance as a survival tactic. This leads to a common setup for self-neglect if LGBT seniors become frail and unable to care for themselves, yet unwilling to seek help from others.
Tips for Preventing LGBT Elder Abuse
Despite the heightened opportunities for LGBT elder abuse, there are measures that you can take to lower the chances of you or a loved one in the LGBT community from being abused, neglected, or exploited. These measures include:
- Get and stay actively involved
- Do not live with someone who has a history of abusive or violent behavior
- Do not give others access to your finances, and automate what you can
- Plan for incapacity, and do it carefully
- Practice safe dating
- Be wary of new friends with financial problems
- Thoroughly screen caregivers
- Be wary of stereotypes regarding gender, orientation, and abuse
- Ignore all unsolicited offers of money, jobs, and financial deals
- If you live in a nursing home facility, know and assert your rights
- Help other LGBT seniors stay active
- Do not take “no” as an answer from friends forever
- Try to keep all topics on the table
- Help victims safety plan
- Know the signs and remain observant
- Be willing to “go with”
- Be resourceful