Estate planning is about setting ones affairs in order for the benefit of friends and family. In that way, the holiday season is a natural time to discuss these matters, because it is now when many families are getting together and celebrating. Particularly for families that do not live close together, this time of the year may be the only one when everyone is all in one place. For those in our area, it may be an ideal time for adult children to sit with parents and siblings to talk about creating or updating their New York estate plan.
Of course, one need not spend time delving into the specific details of a plan over turkey dinner, but simply mentioning the topic lightly can be important. As a recent article in The Gazette suggested, if parents do not seem willing to get into the details during the holiday, adult children should simply explain that they’d like to discuss the subject at a later time. However, if parents seem receptive, it is helpful to ask them some basic questions. For example, some parents may already have wills drafted. If so, it is important for other family members to know where it is located and how to access it. If a will is used, children should ask who has been named executor. The same is true when more advanced tools like trusts are used, where successor trustees have to be named. Our New York estate planning attorneys know these seemingly simple choices come loaded with problems. Discussing them ahead of time, when everyone is together, is often a good approach. For example, choosing one child over another for either of these duties may create hard feelings.
Beyond subtle prompting to get certain estate planning affairs clear, the holidays may also be a good time for parents to share exactly how certain sentimental objects will be distributed. Of course, the holiday gathering may be inappropriate if it is known that certain decisions will cause family discord. However, it is never a good idea for family members to learn who is set to receive certain objects only after a loved one has passed, particularly items with emotional attachments. Because everyone is together the holidays may be the ideal time for grandparents to clearly explain what steps they’ve taken and to answer any questions that family members may have. The input that the elders receive from family members may also prove helpful in case something has been left out of planning. At times adult children can remind parents of certain assets or family issues that should be incorporated in estate planning documents that had originally been left out.